Crumble!

A peculiar beast, lairing in pots and ramekins, only emerging to… sod it… Crumble Make!

Recipe (such that it is)

Apples (one per person?  who knows?) – preferably red, bit sharp, or whatever’s lying around in the corner of the kitchen.  Diced, then peeled, or vice-versa if you’re feeling organised.

Flour / Unsalted Butter / Caster Sugar in roughly a 10:7:4 ratio, enough to cover the apples.

More Sugar - anything you have lying around, along with more Butter - enough to make a caramel for the apples.  Maybe about 20g each per apple… who knows?

Oats, if available and uneaten.

Under no account should preperation, or, god help, shopping for this recipe be performed at any stage.

1. Forget to pre-heat the oven to 200-degrees-ish.  Centigrade, unless you’re feeling experimental.  Kelvin, whilst a bold attempt, may not turn out quite right, but will indeed produce a crispy top…
2. Rub butter into flour. Keep rubbing butter into flour.  Wonder why you have a paste, panic, add more flour.  When it looks like breadcrumbs, stop, and wonder why you don’t just use breadcrumbs.  Ponder the mysteries of life, then mix in sugar and some oats.  Enough to break up the landscape.
3. Take apples, look in fridge for lemons or lemon juice, fail, then cut up small.
4. Heat up butter and sugar in frying pan until the point it starts to turn brown, throw in apples and pray.  With luck, the pan will be re-useable.  When the apples have started to caramelise, add a bit of cinnamon until distinctly brown.
5. Put apple in buttered ramekins or containers or whatever you have.  Preferably kitchen ware, preferably oven save.
6. Put crumble on top of apple, sprinkle water.
7. Put in (hopefully warm) oven, for somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes… with luck, you’ll end up with pudding.

Serving Suggestion:

Serve.

Eat with spoon.

GLORY!

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